


When the Lights Go Up in the City

by vcg73



Series: Helen's Holidays [9]
Category: Glee
Genre: Christmas, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:20:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28161561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vcg73/pseuds/vcg73
Summary: Sam decides that Christmas is a good time for building bridges.
Series: Helen's Holidays [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2031145
Kudos: 14





	When the Lights Go Up in the City

“Dude, I’m really glad you let me come back here.”

“I didn’t let you come back, Sam. It isn’t as if I owned the city of New York.”

“Well, no, but you didn’t have to let me stay with you when you heard I was coming for the holidays. Or bring me out to do something cool while I was here.”

Kurt shrugged nonchalantly. “Mercedes told me you wanted to see the city at Christmas, and since I was staying in town by myself this year, I had the room.”

“Yeah, I heard your folks went to Hawaii.”

He nodded. “They just had their five-year anniversary, and they never had a real honeymoon so I suggested a tropical Christmas for two this year.”

“That’s cool. I went to see my folks for a few days at Thanksgiving, so I decided I’d do something else at Christmas. Then I thought, hey, Kurt and I never got to hang over the holidays when I lived here, so …”

“Here you are.”

Noting that he hadn’t quite sounded pleased by that, Sam ventured, “I wanted to do it before this but I wasn’t sure if you still thought of me as a friend anymore. I mean, after the last time you and Blaine blew up, I figured any of the friends you’d shared might be off your Christmas List for good.”

Kurt shrugged and straightened the collar of his long wool coat, ignoring the comment as he adjusted the fluffy red scarf around his throat, tucking it a bit higher under his chin as the chilly New York wind blew a particularly freezing blast over the crowd at Rockefeller Center. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a pair of fleece-lined gloves and passed them to Sam. “Here, put these on before you get frostbite. I knew you’d forget about gloves, so I brought extra.”

Sam took the gloves and pulled them on, hunching his shoulders as another gust ruffled the old red and white Letterman jacket he was wearing. “Thanks.” Holding up one hand and noting the perfect fit, he offered a tentative smile. “Your stuff always did fit me really good.”

Reminded of the first time he had brought warm garments to this man when he’d had none of his own, Kurt’s demeanor, which had been nearly as icy as the weather, thawed a few degrees. “I didn’t think you remembered that.”

“Dude, of course I did! That was seriously the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me. You and Quinn, and all the clothes and free babysitting and stuff that you gave my family. Not to mention letting me live with you guys after I came back to McKinley, and then giving me a free couch to crash on when I was trying to make it as a model. I’ll never forget any of that stuff!”

Kurt merely sniffed and crossed his arms over his chest, looking up at top of the tall light-bedecked Christmas tree that was just waiting for the onset of darkness to come alive. “Didn’t feel that way,” he said quietly. Glancing briefly at Sam, he added, “I had believed we were pretty close friends, but once a better ‘bro’ came along, I didn’t even warrant a flicker of interest anymore.”

And that fact had hurt him deeply. Kurt did not need to say the words for Sam to hear them loud and clear. His cheeks warmed enough to melt the snowflakes lazily drifting down onto their upturned faces. “Yeah … I remember that too. I’m sorry about the way I was then. There’s not even a good reason for it. I just felt like … like Blaine was popular from the first day he came to our school, and if I was his best bud then I’d automatically be popular again too. And it really was fun, being what he started calling Blam. It felt like being half of that made me sort of invulnerable to the slushies and slams and all that. You remember how out of place I was when I first transferred, right? How I was pretending to be a surfer dude with the perfect hair and perfect tan. Star quarterback, dater of star cheerleaders, and anything else I could think of to be liked.”

Kurt huffed a little. “You were sort of obsessed. But then you joined the Glee Club and publicly stood up for the gay kid against the bullies. So much for _that_ great plan.”

Ruefully, Sam laughed with him. “Yeah, and then I became the homeless kid, and I was living in fear every day that someone would find that out.” He shook his head. “But when I finally did come back for senior year after working in that club to make ends meet, I sort of thought ‘This is my chance to start over fresh.’ Only I was so far behind that I couldn’t catch up again. Everyone else seemed to have a future, and a plan. You and Rachel were off to become theater stars, Quinn was going to freaking Yale, Mercedes was going to become a big time recording artist in L.A., Mike was off to a fancy dancing academy. Even Finn and Puck seemed to have real plans, even if they didn’t work out later on. And I was nothing but the ex jock who was too dumb to pass his senior classes and had to repeat a year. Total bottom of the barrel.” 

“You were never dumb, Sam,” Kurt said, his tone serious. “It wasn’t your fault you were at such a disadvantage, and I would have helped you catch up if I’d realized how much trouble you were having. You always seemed so happy and upbeat. I never even knew you were failing classes until they sent out the graduation list and you weren’t on it. Same with Brittany. I just assumed she was doing okay because she became the class president. Believe it or not, there used to be GPA standards for holding student government positions.”

Sam snorted, not even surprised that Figgins and Beiste, who had been in charge of those class elections, had let that particular ball drop. Suddenly he shivered as another blast of wind got past his defenses. God, he hoped this tree lighting was worth it because he was freezing!

Kurt, wrapped in two layers of sweater, a warm coat, and a large scarf, noticed his discomfort and tentatively offered, “You can tuck in closer to me if you want. I mean, if that won’t make you feel awkward.”

Recognizing that Kurt still wasn’t entirely convinced that Sam had not backed off from his company because he was, compared with his then-boyfriend, “too gay” for a straight dude to be friends with, Sam immediately took a step sideways and wrapped his arm around Kurt’s back. After a hesitant moment, Kurt returned the favor and put an arm around Sam’s shoulders. Whether it was the body heat or the simple show of acceptance, Sam immediately felt much warmer. The little smile that stole over Kurt’s lips suggested that he did as well.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t a better friend when I lived here,” Sam said quietly. “I was still pretty down on myself for those first few months, especially when I couldn’t find a job and was basically living off your charity for the third time. I told myself it was okay because Blaine really wanted me here, and it was good to have you both in my corner. It wasn’t until later, after I moved out, then moved back home, and you guys broke up almost immediately, and Blaine came back to Ohio, and then he and I suddenly didn’t have much in common anymore, that I figured out how screwed up that time really was.”

“It’s okay,” Kurt said, the response so automatic that Sam winced. How many times had Kurt been forced to say those words to people who just took them at face value and moved on?

“No, it isn’t.” He leaned forward a little, craning his neck to see Kurt’s face when he attempted to hide it in his giant scarf. “It was never okay. That’s why I wanted to see you again now. You were great to me whenever I needed you. The fact that you agreed to put me up this week, and come out here to freeze your ass off just so I could see a gigantic Christmas tree proves that you still are. And I was a dick to you when you needed me. That was uncool and unfair, and I wanted you to know that I’m trying to grow up and become a better man, and that I’m really truly sorry for the way I repaid all your kindness. You might not be my bro when it comes to comics and movies and stuff like that, but where it really counts you’re totally the big brother I never had.” 

Kurt lifted his free hand and used his glove to subtly brush away a tear. Lifting his head to look at the tree again as the lights finally came on, and the crowd around them ooh’ed and ahh’ed, he heaved a heartfelt sigh. 

The frosty plume of his breath filled the air in front of them, growing larger and then slowly dissipating on the breeze, as if Kurt was letting go of some long held inner pain. His arm tightened around Sam’s shoulders and Kurt smiled, the first real smile he had worn since Sam’s arrival this morning. Gesturing up at the beautifully lit giant spruce, he said, “What do you think of our Christmas tree?”

“Coolest one I’ve ever seen,” Sam said truthfully. As the sneaky wind reached under his collar to tickle his neck with another finger of ice, he said, “But I think I’d rather see the bottom of a hot chocolate mug right now. What do you say? First cup’s on me.”

Kurt nodded. “You have a deal. And when we’ve defrosted a little, we can go skating, or home to watch a Christmas movie if that sounds better. I have them all.”

“You have 'Elf'?” 

“You know I do.”

Sam sighed happily and gave Kurt, his _friend_ , a helpful tug around the waist to get him moving as he spotted a hot cocoa vendor just a few hundred feet away, the hot steam from his cart beckoning temptingly. 

Kurt laughed and sped up his steps and in a moment the two young men were racing to see who would be the first to reach their goal of steamy chocolaty goodness. Kurt beat Sam by a hair and threw his arms up in triumph. “Whoo! Take that, Mister Quarterback! I think you should get me a doughnut to go with my cocoa, to celebrate this auspicious occasion.”

Though he was not fully certain he knew what ‘auspicious’ meant, Sam agreed happily. “Two large cocoas and two doughnuts, please,” he told the vendor. 

As Kurt grinned and accepted his reward, a round cake doughnut with festive red and green sprinkles over the top, Sam breathed a happy sigh of his own. In spite of the frigid temperature, he had never felt so warm. 


End file.
